Depression and the Single Mom

My natural gravitation toward compassion for the underdog is what I a tribute to my passion for this topic. While I personally have sought to confront and challenge healing from depression in my own life, I have simultaneously developed a searing passion to see others be healed and free from the disease as well.

More than 16 million people  in this country have suffered from at least 1 episode or experience with depression during their adult life. I can only imagine what those numbers look like if we include the experience of those around the world. Symptoms of Depression is one of those things that can be as unique as the fingerprint that identify us as individuals. Therefore, it is vital 2 take the time to proactively Explorer what depression may look like for you.

Like so many, it has taken much time for me to come to the knowledge of what triggers sadness in my life. while having experienced lack of energy, frustration, mental cloudiness, lack of Interest episodes, and others, unexplained sadness was the fact that jumped out to me as a red flag that I too was suffering.

So often the symptoms of depression and their varying forms are ignored because they are often associated with being a normal part of life. This along with the stigma of dealing with a mental health condition, is what I believe keeps so many individuals bound in the disease and enduring years upon years of suffering.

Although I was fortunate enough to recognize that I suffered from depression prior to having children, becoming a mother and now living as a single mother, I have come to reevaluate what depression looks like for me at this current stage of life.

It has been reported that single mothers experience depression and anxiety symptoms at a higher rate compared to mothers that have partners. Because of this studies show that single moms are at a higher risk of developing depression anxiety and stress as it relates to their everyday life. I have come into the most knowledge of these mental illnesses as a single mom. The red flag for me during this stage in my life being how I approached mothering having been divorced.

Being the sole Breadwinner for my family and the stress associated with having two maintain Financial, emotional, mental, and spiritual stability for myself and my children placed me on an involuntary emotional roller coaster. While gaining the strength to "do what I got to do", I  was tired, frustrated, and irritated more than what I would have considered normal. I not only felt some resentment toward the fathers that were not present, I also felt resentment toward myself. I blamed myself 4 putting my kids in a position in which they did not have two parents presence in their home. this made me extremely anxious and sad for myself and for my children.

I was angry at myself and experiencing high levels of stress and anxiety surrounding the notion that I alone would not be able to provide the life that I desired to give my children. I didn't want to be the kind of parent that just provided food and shelter for my children, nor have them equate me meeting their basic needs with what it meant 2 actually raise and mother them. I wanted to read them a story every night, make them a hot breakfast every morning. I want to walk with them through their Growing Pains, teach them how to develop their gifts and talents. I want to be a mentally emotionally and spiritually present vs merely physical, demonstrate a healthy marriage, what it looks like to live a purposeful life, and how to honor God.

I submitted myself to canceling with a professional therapist as a single woman, within my marriage and during the divorce process. After my divorce and becoming what I perceived to be as back on my feet, I stopped counseling. It wasn't until then that I could not understand why with having found a stable job, a great Apartments, a quality school for my kids and having lost my baby weight , was I still experiencing a deep set anger.

I looked forward to any time that would allow me to disconnect from having to deal with my children. I was short with them. I was often irritated and frustrated with them four things they did simply by being kids. I found myself having a very sarcastic attitude toward them. Simply put, I just felt like I was being a mean mom and that was not the type of mother I wanted to be. This behavior was so out of character for me and was what made me realize something is not right.

Despite the challenge of owning my behavior, I wanted more for my children to have a better experience of me then what I was giving them.  I decided seek counsel again. I needed assistance with dealing with my new normal. While in therapy  along with much prayer, I was able to develop a strategic plan to combat depression and what it looked like for me.

Whether this is the first article you have ever read on depression, or if you have been challenged with coping through years of dealing with depression, you must first know that hope and healing are available to you. Although it may feel this way, You Are Not Alone.  you do not have to suffer in silence and there are others such as yourself that understand exactly where you are and what you are going through. Relieve yourself of the notion that you are reduced to doing life alone. As a single mother we may be one less in our homes, however that does not mean we have to be less in our lives. No matter where you are, I can tell you from personal experience that if you seek the assistance you need and deserve it will present itself in the lives of you and your children. The manifestation of such presence is truly a gift.

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